Je kunt tegenwoordig in Amsterdam op een zaterdagmiddag geen cafeetje meer binnenstappen, of de plek is getransformeerd tot photoshoot locatie voor Instagram. Jongens en meiden (ok, vooral vrouwen, maar we willen open minded blijven) die hun kopjes en bordjes blijven draaien tot het licht precies goed is en het eten precies koud. Om te laten zien hoe gek dit soms kan zijn en hoe #fitgirls soms kunnen doorslaan in hun gezondheidswens, heeft je boy Ted een hilarische Instagram opgezet. Hierin laat hij zijn #progress zien, zijn beste ‘woke up like this’ gezicht en nog veel meer gekkigheid.
PS Nederlands meest belachelijk gemaakt fitgirls? Dat moeten wel The Green Happiness meiden zijn, vooral na hun Lowlands debacle.
#RealBalance – You know when someone just, like, totally gets you? Well think how I felt when I found out that @yushoisnacks trialled a 45-minute Pealates & Pinot class in Leeds earlier this month! (Scroll along to see my own interpretation of this new #trending workout plan – and read all about it in the link in my bio) I’ve now left all the booty workouts, twerk classes and 14-second ab routines to become a Pealates Master Trainer. And, as you can see, I’m looking 💅🏼 for it. I’ve now also been commissioned by the University of Living Like A Total Lush to research the hypothesis that there is a positive correlation between wine, sharing bags of crisps and a hot body. This will involve me sticking to a strict regime of Pinot by the bottle full, pea snacks by the bag full and V-ups and (what I’m coining) Hungry Bird-Dogs. It’s going be a tough investigation and I hope I can count on your support in my quest to push the boundaries in name of science. In the wellness world where the perfect double-tappable selfie can drive people to trade nights out for glute bridges or say no to eating an entire share bag of crisps in favour of another fistful of kale shoved straight in the face, it is my hope to prove that #balance is the best way to live. Wine, snacks and exercise are very much mutually INCLUSIVE. Just call me Dr Wellness 🤓 #pealatesandpinot #everydaybalance #snackhappy #yushoi #ad
CHECK OUT MY #TOBLERONETUNNEL… . From the #thighgap to the #hipdip I now present you the Toblerone Tunnel. Admittedly my version is slightly different to the one I saw on the @dailymail today. For some reason their’s just looked like a gap between girls legs, apparently used in much the same way as the Kardashians #hipcleavage, basically getting as physically close to showing your minge as is humanly possible without actually doing it, for likes. And probably a deal with appetite-suppressant lollies. . Sounds like a bloody missed opportunity to eat @tobleroneglobal to me. . My version uses the gap between my butthole and thighs to both store the chocolate and gently warm it. This is not only one way to rectify any Luddite decision to store their chocolate in the fridge but also makes it just a little bit melty. This increases the bioavailability of the chocolates flavonoids. And so, when it comes to transporting the ‘rone from tunnel 1 to tunnel 2 (I.e my fat gob) it’s ready to be digested and improve my heart health. Nutritious AND delicious. . I suggest we all start posting pictures of us using our #tobleronetunnelnumber2 instead of nearly flashing our hoops for the ‘gram because, well, it’s just makes us all nicer people, innit.
SUNS OUT TUMS OUT // As you can see I’ve timed my four week Summer Shred programme to perfection – just in time for the London heatwave. After going into hibernation during the Beast From The East and using a calorie surplus created by an organic* and vegan* diet of Lamb Shawarma and chips with a side-Lahmacun from edgy Peckham plant-based* eatery Flamin Mangal for a clean bulk, I’m back. For the last month I’ve existed on one wheatgrass shot and looking an avocado for 3minutes and was able to shed 12 stone and 32% body fat. The results, I think you’ll agree, are miraculous. Sure, I could do with a little more definition in my arms, but tonight’s workout involves 10 sets of 10 reps of lifting a £2 Bud Light from Wetherspoons to my mouth – German volume training at its best. DM me with your summer shred tips so I can keep progressing. Big love 😍 (*Truths May vary)
BAKE IT OFF // In celebration of tonight’s #GBBO let me introduce the secret ingredient to any six-pack diet. Cake is a superfood – you just need to know how to pick the right one. 1) Always go for sponge. They’re filled with air pockets, which not only cuts back on calories it also helps you to consume even more oxygen to fuel hungry muscles. The combination of extra O2 and fast carbs makes it a perfect performance enhancer in the gym. 2) Go colourful. For every shade of the rainbow on your plate, the more varied the nutrient profile. Macros are important, but if you want to hit your micronutrient targets too, without the need for expensive supps, a colourful plate is your easiest route to nutrition plan success. As you can see here, I’ve hit my 5 a day in a single slice. 3) Finally, make it a show stopper. If it’s not as big as your head what’s the fucking point. Paul Hollywood never shook any one’s hand for a measly cupcake, after all
I’m incredibly proud to share with you the cover of my first book, “Just Add Cheese.” I’m predicting, and putting my name behind, the fact that this wrongly-vilified superfood is set for a comeback. Packed with protein, gut-friendly probiotics and enough calcium to fire up your metabolism you’d have to be mad (or vegan (lol jk, that’s fucking madness, too)) to cut it from your diet. Sure it might make you fart. But farts are funny. And I think everyone can agree that we all need more fun in our lives. Look out, the cheesy chips with curry sauce and turkey dinosaurs are 💯. #🧀
Artikel gaat hieronder verder
For today’s al-desko lunch I’ve gone for high protein, high carb, high gravy and high lols. It’s a winning combination 🔥
Een bericht gedeeld door Wellness Ted (@wellness_ted) op
WHO WORE IT BETTER? // Best of luck to my ultimate abs-piration @wellness_ed at today’s @lululemonuk #sweatlife festival. She may need to work on the shading in of her six-pack, and she definitely envies my leggy blonde pins, but she’s gonna knock her #wellnessmindset talk about the park today in front of 300 people (literally 💯💯💯). You’re a fucking legend, gonna be super proud, blah blah blah more lovey bollocks not suitable for public consumption. . And yes, I will be there. And yes I will be wearing my abs. Obvs.
WOKE UP LIKE THIS // #nofilter needed when you get 8 hours sleep! Feeling so refreshed, no need to get up in the middle of the night for a wee – I slept all the way through and now I feel amazing. If you’re struggling to sleep, try getting more magnesium in your diet by snacking on some delicious spinach before bed. It’ll help you drop off quicker and improve sleep quality. Turn your standard 6 hours into a full 8 and the effects on your skin are incredible, as I’ve found out. But beauty is more than skin deep and today I’m feeling energised and beautiful on the inside too. Definitely woken up with that #FRIYAY feeling 💅🏼
DOWNWARD DOGGING // New trend alert! Hotdog Yoga. It’s like hot yoga, but the main sweats you’ll get are of the meat variety. And, clean eaters, don’t worry about these dirty dogs – the metabolism boost you get from a strong flow is more than enough to make this post-class nutrition calorie neutral. Why not try it this weekend? Happy dogging everyone!
ROCKET FUEL // Next time you’re running low on #mondaymotivation for your workout swap out the standard espresso for a more summer-ready pre-workout. Totally fat-free, these lollies contain 10% of your sugar RDA for fast-access energy mainlined to your muscles. Not only that – and this is no joke, I actually checked, because, you know, I’m into fitness and therefore my conversation is relentlessly scintillating – the colourings come from beetroot (filled with endurance-enhancing nitric oxide) and curcumin (a potent metabolism-boosting compound). In all, this is the perfect pre-workout to launch your session to the next level, no face tingles necessary. And for the post-workout refuel? I suggest a mini milk chaser. Since you asked, mine’s a strawberry flavour, please. It matches my #activewear 💅🏼
PROGRESS // On the left – unhealthy. On the right – healthy. At the start of the year I thought the only way to get abs was being restrictive with my diet. Pizza was on the menu – but only in bite size pieces. And, as you can see from the look on my face, I wasn’t happy about it! And then all of a sudden I discovered the WHOLE FOODS DIET. Before that I never knew what whole foods really meant – and then I realised it just meant ALL OF IT. And I’ve not looked back since. For months I’d been enviously scrolling Instagram seeing lean influencers photographing and talking about all the amazing treats they squeeze into their nutrition plans – doughnuts, popcorn, chocolate, peanut butter, chocolate AND peanut butter – while still looking fantastic. Initially I thought they were all a bunch of phoney liars. Taking a picture of doughy goodness before turning to a plate of leaves. But now I know that, contrary to some people’s concerns, everything you see on social media is genuine and real *breathes sigh of relief* And it turns out there’s some science behind it too. Research conducted by the esteemed Dr Oetker – an expert in the field – found that refusing to slice up your pizza and eating it whole means your body has to work harder to break it down. This slowing of digestion prevents the insulin spikes associated with weight gain and helps you to feel fuller for longer, preventing snacking. Now that’s what I call an upper crust health tip! Lunch, anyone?
FULL DISCLOSURE // OK, so my stag do wasn’t as wellness as I thought. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from the amazing people on here it’s that I’m not going to beat myself up about it. 50 pints in a weekend with your mates is nothing to be ashamed of. It was 💯. Did you know in just a few days your liver can reboot itself? Our bodies are amazing. And while most of the time it’s our job to look after them. Right now I’m asking it to look after me! So hear I am. Owning it. I may have lost a couple of abs, but downing this nutritious red juice is helping me through my hangover and helping me get back on track for the week ahead. Wish me luck! Oh, and I’ve been away from the ‘gram for too long!! Im sorry. I’m sure you’ve all missed me 😘
TRENDSETTER // I present to you the #AvoVino. Forget the #Avolatte with its milky high calorie count and swap it in for the real best way to start your day with a smile. Filled with polyphenols, red wine is great for your heart – whatever time it is! Combine that with the healthy fats and b-vitamins of an avocado and I wonder why everyone isn’t starting their day like this already? It certainly gives me something to get out of bed for in the morning! Bottoms up!
PROGRESS // I’m so proud to show you how far I’ve come this year – 2017 has been a #wellness whirlwind, but I’ve managed to keep my feet on the ground and strive everyday to be the best version of myself while pursuing my passions. Cheese-covered or otherwise! This progress has all been made possible through rigorous face yoga sessions, regular foam rolling of my jaw to work on my mobility, as well as harnessing the power of positive mantras (difficult to say with a mouthful of @mcdonalds!) It’s posts like these that I try to show you past all the glamour of six-pack abs and perfect pink activewear, and a glimpse of all the hard work that goes into healthy living. Perseverance pays off for everyone, and if I can do it, so can you!